I know

 

I know my weakness very well

I know nobody is perfect...

Even I know nobody is perfect but inside my deep heart...

I still envy to someone else

Even envy is helpless for me to change myself to become a better man but I can't control my mind

just because I have too much shortcomings...

I know I'm not handsome enough

I know I'm not cute as you mentioned

I know I'm not friendly as you wished

I know I'm a sissy boy

I know I'm stingy for you

I know I'm short and thin yet not muscular dude

I know I'm not rich as you expected

I know I lack of inspiration

I know I'm not creative enough

I know I'm a timid guy and afraid everything

I lack of confident I know....

I'm rude and not gentleman I know

I'm singing like a duck quacking

I'm stupid...blur in academia

Even I know those are bad habits and bad belief

Formerly a guy told me I should have positive thinking

but...is not easy to think about it......

he said why should envy others?

what they can do we can done it too...however they look nicer

but some days if I really work hard I could be nicer be fabulous too

no matter what they said even they criticize you just let them be

I'm just being myself then enough

Regardless is not easy to change it but I'll work harder and harder to change it

I'll show you a better me!

don't judge a person arbitrary!

Especially for YOU

you always stand by your side and complaint this and that...

do you ever stand by my side and thinking for me?

I don't want to complaint anymore

Even I complaint anything or show that I'm unhappy otherwise I'm worried something

You never take some action to comfort me and take care of me....

Gradually I had become autistic

I locked my heart and wouldn't came into my deep heart

No matter how many times I tried to be open-minded

regardless how hard I trying to be your best

but at last just get hurt deeply.....

sometimes I doubt that aren't you don't really love me

maybe I'm just your play doll

It doesn't matter at all

Every time I near with other and seem ambiguous with them

then you will complaint many thing to me

If the situation swapped do you clear about my feels?

If you really know that then why you do so?

Jealous? not just the patent for woman only

Everyone saw their beau ambiguous with others sure they jealous or else getting angry and feel unhappy then started thinking that why they do so and many many question appeared

so do I start comparing myself with others

I keep thinking that I'm not good enough for you....

Meanwhile I will striving myself to upgrade myself

I can't lose cause I had nothing left

 I must fight for my future

my love my dreams !!!!!

家

一个给你温暖的地方

一个遮风挡雨的避难所

一个让你消去疲劳的地方

一个无论你去到哪里都会想回到的地方

我的家呢？

我的温暖呢？

我的避难所呢？

一个空荡荡的家

你还想待吗？

每天重复的一个人吃饭

一个人看戏

一个人......

渐渐地习惯了一个人

父母的关怀？

每天只有那么一小段时间

想说个话都有问题

说多了被说烦

不说又烦

慢慢地就什么都不想说了

什么委屈，难过的事都往肚里吞真的蛮难受的

渴望有个温馨的家

窝心的伴

爸妈...可以多花些心思了解我下吗？

可以多点交谈吗？

可以经常的同台吃个饭吗？

可以多点地聆听我心中的话吗...？