ESCAPE

don't know when it start...

you seem blurry about me

so sad that you start to force me do this and that

you're never force me to do anything...

but now it's gonna change

even though that's not a hard thing

but how, nobody like to be forcing

now you all like United Party and conspiracy something!

what "he" said you must support and agree with him

and gradually I became transparent and then forgotten  

well! maybe I'm just an outsider no kinship with you at all!!

don't force me to do what I dislike or don't want to do

feeling want to escape from this home

yet the exam is started now

I'm rush to do everything...

please don't distract me on my study

don't add any stress to me okay?

if not I'm might be crazy soon

maybe someday I had mental disorder and jump from the top of the building

if you like to force me then keep it up

someday I'm might accidently board on obituary pages

then you know what's happening lar? :X

I'm not joking if someone keep force me do what I dislike and felt desperation on me then I might commit suicide

 hmm everything will past...cheer now :D  

I know

 

I know my weakness very well

I know nobody is perfect...

Even I know nobody is perfect but inside my deep heart...

I still envy to someone else

Even envy is helpless for me to change myself to become a better man but I can't control my mind

just because I have too much shortcomings...

I know I'm not handsome enough

I know I'm not cute as you mentioned

I know I'm not friendly as you wished

I know I'm a sissy boy

I know I'm stingy for you

I know I'm short and thin yet not muscular dude

I know I'm not rich as you expected

I know I lack of inspiration

I know I'm not creative enough

I know I'm a timid guy and afraid everything

I lack of confident I know....

I'm rude and not gentleman I know

I'm singing like a duck quacking

I'm stupid...blur in academia

Even I know those are bad habits and bad belief

Formerly a guy told me I should have positive thinking

but...is not easy to think about it......

he said why should envy others?

what they can do we can done it too...however they look nicer

but some days if I really work hard I could be nicer be fabulous too

no matter what they said even they criticize you just let them be

I'm just being myself then enough

Regardless is not easy to change it but I'll work harder and harder to change it

I'll show you a better me!

don't judge a person arbitrary!

Especially for YOU

you always stand by your side and complaint this and that...

do you ever stand by my side and thinking for me?

I don't want to complaint anymore

Even I complaint anything or show that I'm unhappy otherwise I'm worried something

You never take some action to comfort me and take care of me....

Gradually I had become autistic

I locked my heart and wouldn't came into my deep heart

No matter how many times I tried to be open-minded

regardless how hard I trying to be your best

but at last just get hurt deeply.....

sometimes I doubt that aren't you don't really love me

maybe I'm just your play doll

It doesn't matter at all

Every time I near with other and seem ambiguous with them

then you will complaint many thing to me

If the situation swapped do you clear about my feels?

If you really know that then why you do so?

Jealous? not just the patent for woman only

Everyone saw their beau ambiguous with others sure they jealous or else getting angry and feel unhappy then started thinking that why they do so and many many question appeared

so do I start comparing myself with others

I keep thinking that I'm not good enough for you....

Meanwhile I will striving myself to upgrade myself

I can't lose cause I had nothing left

 I must fight for my future

my love my dreams !!!!!

家

一个给你温暖的地方

一个遮风挡雨的避难所

一个让你消去疲劳的地方

一个无论你去到哪里都会想回到的地方

我的家呢？

我的温暖呢？

我的避难所呢？

一个空荡荡的家

你还想待吗？

每天重复的一个人吃饭

一个人看戏

一个人......

渐渐地习惯了一个人

父母的关怀？

每天只有那么一小段时间

想说个话都有问题

说多了被说烦

不说又烦

慢慢地就什么都不想说了

什么委屈，难过的事都往肚里吞真的蛮难受的

渴望有个温馨的家

窝心的伴

爸妈...可以多花些心思了解我下吗？

可以多点交谈吗？

可以经常的同台吃个饭吗？

可以多点地聆听我心中的话吗...？

一公升的眼泪 深深地触动人心

一公升的眼泪

你看了吗？

那事实的残酷

那伟大泛滥的母爱

那坚强的女孩

那知足的一家

那难得的朋友

那懂事的兄弟姐妹

看了后才觉得惭愧

曾经

我一直想着轻生

那我有没有想想他人一直努力地想活下去

哪怕只是多一秒

他也可以很满足了

看着戏剧里女主角那坚强的毅力

只为了想努力的活下去

再想想自己

一点小事就想死那样

不丢人吗？

那种小事根本就不应该去懊恼更不该想着轻生

我们应多爱自己一些多爱家人及身边的朋友

不该让他们为我们操心

戏里...她说不能再为自己的将来打算

高中...升学...为社会做点事都不能了

那我们这些好手好脚的人为什么要去烦这些呢？

为此...我们应深深感到幸福 

因为此时的我们还健在

我们应更积极地去生活

将来帮助有需要的人

烦恼？

只要金钱能解决的就不是烦恼了

现在就应该想想自己的未来

这微不足道的烦恼

不算什么

要振作起来

 她！就是我们的榜样！！

  一公升的眼泪大结局

你哭了吗？

至今才发现眼泪是微咸的

珍惜眼前的一切

家人和朋友的支持很重要的

尽可能的保护他们爱他们吧

生命太脆弱

人性却坚强

纵使流下一升的眼泪 
 
如果痛苦是就超越这痛苦
那对岸有幸福般的彩虹等待着
不要着急
不要贪心
不要放弃
因为大家都是一步一步向前走
不管多么微不足道的事也好
我想要对他人有帮助

心里杂七杂八

成绩也出了

想了想真不懂要怎么办

感觉上考试就在最近的事

时间真的过得好快

能不能时间倒流

回到过去？

可以的话

我想回到童年

现在想想童年里

好像真的没有多少回忆

有点遗憾

想回到过去弥补

我那失去的童年

呵呵

别傻了

这事？？不可能

感觉自己真的好幼稚

怎么就那么的不懂事

是时候长大了

是该懊恼未来的事了

是时候想想未来的要怎走

是时候为自己的前途计划下了

成绩？？

大家应该都考得不错吧 =]

忽然的觉得自己好虚伪...

我可以再虚伪一点的说我不在意吗？
可是内心里我很在意

现在的我真的好讨人厌

一切的落败也许是我太过傲慢吧
只能怪自己不够用功

早知道会后悔

当初为何不加倍努力呢？？

现在的我没资格去怪任何东西

就这样计划被打散了...

要我怎么重新规划？？

我没那本事

没那勇气

万一......我的规划再次失败呢？？

真的不想去想了...

真想躺在大草原上 什么也不去想

就这样静静的望着......天空

就算答案不是我想要的

也无所谓了

每个人都承受着无形的压力

唯有面对它

我们都被环境所逼

必须为自己的生活打拼

为了生活

我不该在堕落下去

是时候振作起来

寻找自己的目标

选着我的未来...

每个成功的故事背后都有个辛酸史

也许他们是靠自己十倍的努力在换来现在的成功的

那现在的我要比他们努力一百倍

加油！！

附上丑照一张=]

Untitle...

我是个超敏感的人

又挑剔...

什么事情在我眼里都会变得最糟的...

即使说的人没有恶意 但你却伤到了我的自尊

侮辱了我

真的感到很丢脸

我后悔！后悔很多很多事

但...也没用

再怎么后悔也不能当做没发生过

是该封闭自己 反省反省了...

再难过也是自找的

谁叫我不争气！

I am a sensitive person 

and fastidious... 

In my eyes everything would become the worst ... 

Even the people who criticize you do not maliciously but it hurt my self-esteem deeply

Insult me 

I am really ashamed 

I regret it! Regret many, many things 

But useless... 

No matter how regret am I, it cannot be used as has happened 

Is time to be autistic...reflect on my mistakes
Sorrow is also self-inflicted

who call me fail to live up expectations

ps:英语很差请勿嘲笑...................

ps:My english not good...pls dn laugh

CONFUSED囧

CNY....

just catch up to relatives...

the simplest interlocution is → wahh long time no see, more higher liao wor....blablabla...

but nowadays them caring about my education

Isn't that without study = dross

I really dislike study...

It make me tired...

I'm really no any motivation to continue study....

why must study??

without study not mean die....

I can do something I interested right??

I'm not a reading material...

don't waste too much of time on me...

I'm junk... =[

don't expect too much for me...

I don't know what should I do...

My relatives...my family...

they are hold great expectations on me...

they want me continue my education...

what should I do??

I really dislike study...

I'm got my own savor

I want to choose the path I like

I hope everyone will support me and encouraged me

3 Feb 11☠

一向来就不喜欢新年的到来...

每个新年都过得蛮不愉快...

不过该来的终究得来...

可能我的思想太"close"

放得不够开

一直在转牛角尖也说不定

--------------------------------------------

原本不易与人亲近的我

现在认识的人,事,物也越来也多了

真不懂怎么去面对

一句我太笨...

足已深深的伤了我

对！！！！！

我的确没有很聪明

我自己知道自己几斤重

笨也不是我想的啊

从自闭的从前走到现在

不是进步很多了吗？

为什么在你眼里

我总是做得不够好？

我需要的只是你的赞赏,你的认同！

你的鼓励！

而不是你一生生的辱骂

我不需要同别人比...

我只想同我自己比...

请勿拿我同别人作比较！！

愿今年有个快乐年！！

还是放空思想睡觉去...

晚安了...